Support for “Ick” Conversations

by | Nov 11, 2019 | Inspiration

Maybe I’m the only one who has an adversity to conversations I’d rather not find myself in. I could have been in the circus or worked for the magician, Houdini, because I could find an escape route from these uncomfortable situations. Well, like most things in life, I couldn’t avoid them forever so I decided to see if I could grow a tolerance for them. As I launched this inquiry, over the years, I’ve noticed how my participation in these situations has evolved.

 

The old model:

1.    Getting face-to-face or ear-to-ear

2.    Looking at them, trying to be interested

3.    Sitting on my hands so I wouldn’t bolt

4.    Thinking I’m listening

5.    Reacting or trying not to react to what they’re saying

6.    Evaluating the Right or Wrong of what they’re saying

7.    Justifying, explaining, or defending my part of the topic

 

The new model:

1.    Getting face-to-face or ear-to-ear

2.    Showing up as best I can in the moment with as clear a mind as I can muster

3.    Knowing I’m equipped for anything that comes up in this conversation. No need to run.

4.    Putting my attention on the speaker while my mind is whirling a sh—show of commentary.

5.    Staying neutral. This is an active position for me because I see that I can’t hear what they’re trying to say when I’m falling into the story my mind is generating about what’s going down.

6.    Listening for what they’re really trying to convey. Am I getting their point? Am I curious about what they’re saying?

7.    Questioning them to see if I’m understanding what they are trying to communicate.

8.    Still staying neutral. How can we collaborate to address what they are sharing? 

9.    Seeing the value of cultivating goodwill with this person. What can be created NEW from this conversation?

 

When I review how these conversations go down for me now, I can’t believe I could experience such a dramatic difference in conversations I had once avoided. What surprises me, equally, is the connection and goodwill that comes from listening in a new way. I see where old patterns can’t persist when I show up differently. Something NEW has to happen if I show up differently.

 

This is typically where I laugh…

What? It’s ME again! Really?

Yep!

 

Try doing difficult conversations differently. There’s no perfection, just showing up differently supports change, connection, and goodwill. Something, I believe, we all seek.

 

Please let me know if you give this a try, I’d love to hear from you!

 

Sending smiles,

Cherie

 

 

P.S. In these inquiries, I’m fascinated by the limitless Intelligence behind life that brings fresh ideas and solutions to each of us. What it brings, I’m grateful for. The fact that it is always here and in service to me, for living a more peaceful, loving life…amazes me.

Following Quirky Inspiration

by | Oct 31, 2019 | Being Human, Thought

Taos. This is one word that evokes movement inside anyone who has visited or has longed to visit this unique place. It’s a place filled with real-time postcard images that seem to have been enhanced by Photoshop, but they haven’t.
For many years, I’ve had the good fortune to facilitate Intuitive Painting workshops at Mabel Dodge Luhan House (www.mabeldodgeluhan.com) in Taos, New Mexico. This puts me in Taos twice a year for almost two weeks in the spring and two weeks in the fall. With every visit, I learn more about this unique town and the people who were attracted to it. Two immensely creative people who’ve been attracted to Taos were Mabel Dodge Luhan and Dennis Hopper. Why would this pair be on my mind? Mabel created the retreat center 80 plus years ago and Dennis Hopper owned it at one time. The energy of supporting creatives is imbued in the walls.
I find an individual’s creative process fascinating and I wanted to learn more about Dennis Hopper’s, so I started listening to every interview I could find. One of the most interesting comments I remember him saying was, he felt his most creative once he was clear of his addictions. This rang the Truth Bell for me. Why? Because we are naturally immensely creative. We can be awed by this fact once we align with what’s creating vs what we’re creating or the common thought-theme, ‘I’m not creative.’
When I was in Taos this September, on my way back to Mabel’s from the post office, I got an inspiration to visit Dennis Hopper’s resting place. Since I’m here in Taos to support spontaneity, freedom, and following inspiration, with a clear conscience, I couldn’t say no. But you should have heard the sh..t-show of thoughts that flooded my mind about following this inspiration. OMG! The thoughts ranged from reverence to heresy.
As will happen with inspiration, the next step showed up. I went to YouTube and there it was, a driving video to where I was inspired to go. When I arrived, I circled the location a couple of times because I didn’t want to impose on a person who was having a chat with another resident of the cemetery. When the other visitor left, I drove in. What I found was a homage to Mr. Hopper.
It was evident by the adornments to his resting place that he had been impactful to the lives of many. My ‘shame on you thoughts’ for visiting the grave of someone I’d never met changed. A rich feeling of gratitude replaced the spaces in my mind where shame had lived. There was now an abiding respect for all who have followed their inspirations and colored outside the box. I said a prayer of appreciation for all his earthly contributions and how he continues to inspire from where he lives right now.
I would also like to thank all of the creatives who followed their inspiration to come to the Taos September workshop. From the first gathering in the garden to the very last day, this group was filled with fun, collaboration, bursts of creative insights, and truly wonderful people.
Sending smiles,
Cherie

If I Can See It, You Can See It!

by | Oct 17, 2019 | Being Human, Offering

Just this week I was asked to share what I do, exactly, with my clients. This question offered me the opportunity to step back and see what matters most to me in my commitment to who I work with; so, I thought I’d share it with you.

In my work, I support clients to:
  • Understand and discover their True self.
  • See how all human beings fundamentally operate and to understand the spiritual nature of life.
  • Understand where their experience comes from.
  • Understand that every person possesses innate well-being and wholeness. No one is broken.
  • See how state-of-mind dictates experience and behaviors.
  • Orient to the nature of life which is infinite in potential and possibilities.
  • See where burn-out comes from and how resilience can take its place.
  • Learn via insight instead of struggling to figure things out. The answer will never be found in striving.
  • Understand that peace and harmony are never attached to the circumstances of life.
  • Learn how to live easily, naturally, and creatively.
  • Learn how to live fully expressed, seeing opportunities, and saying YES to life.

In this moment of reflection, to state the inspiration that moves me in my work, I would say to live peacefully and harmoniously in this great mystery, called life. I certainly didn’t always see that we (me included in this we), are designed and equipped for whatever this mystery brings us, but I do now. What a difference that makes! This is what I want every client to see for themselves.

I feel very fortunate to support executives, teams, individuals, groups, couples, teens, and families in living more connected, inspired, and peaceful lives.

Sending smiles,
Cherie

Learning Through Living: Insights from a Colonoscopy

by | Aug 15, 2019 | Being Human, Inspiration, Thought

Seeing something fresh and new is not special. Human beings are designed to receive insights, fresh thinking, aha moments, whatever you want to call them. It’s built into each of us and you don’t have to do anything special for it to happen. With that said, it’s possible to see life’s truths, simply by living. By doing what’s in front of you to do, in this moment. Recently, two insights about being human occurred to me and I wanted to share them with you.


It was my turn to have a colonoscopy. I’m a huge proponent of this procedure because it helped several people very near and dear to my heart catch diseases that would have otherwise gone undetected.
You hear lots of stories about the prep for this procedure. To prepare, I began reading all the instructions over and over because I didn’t want to miss any details. I knew for certain that I only wanted to do this dance once, so following the directions to the letter was imperative.

On the day before the procedure, I wasn’t allowed to have any solid foods, only clear liquids. For me this consisted of chicken broth and popsicles (no red or purple flavors allowed). What I found so interesting was, when I took food off my mind, such as, what I’m going to eat, getting the right food, and when to eat, I realized there was a huge open gap of space in my mind. It really surprised me how much ‘food thought’ fills my head daily! When that topic was taken off the table, WOW, my mind felt so spacious. Less on my mind felt great! Change is interesting.

The second part of the story, which I found so clever, was how my mind was trying to tempt me to break the fast! I bought a fruit bar as one of my popsicle options and when I went to eat it, I noticed it had chunks of pineapple. My mind is saying you’re hungry, eat it, it won’t matter, it’s not that chunky, etc.

The clarity in me said, no way! I’m not about to blow this process by eating something solid. With the vigilance of a D.C. lobbyist my mind wasn’t letting up. I was amazed how my mind was operating on its own agenda while the clarity in me didn’t budge. It saw the cost and said no way!

This mental tug-a-war brought a simple but significant insight. It showed me that as human beings, if we REALLY understood the cost to our experience or sense of wellbeing, we would not indulge our thinking. The clarity in us would stop us from languishing in events that have passed or made-up future events. If we found ourselves in the weeds of those two topics, we’d come back to the present moment.
What I know for sure is, I’m going to feel whatever I’m thinking about. If it scares me, I’m feeling scared. If I have thoughts of regret, I feel rotten.

Engaging with life brings insights. Since I’m a girl who likes bullets, I’m going to make it simple.

To me, this looks universally true for human beings:

1. If our minds are freed up from habits of thinking or anything else that consumes space in our heads, we have an invitation to see what else is on offer from life. When minds are less burdened, life feels lighter, more hopeful, more promising.

2. Understanding the TRUE cost of indulging our thinking, supports us in exercising free will. If we want to feel better more of the time, we can’t afford the mental indulgence. By indulging our thinking, we leave the present moment and live life through the story being created in the mind. If we’re playing it out in our heads, we’re not present to life. We’re not in touch with what’s alive, life, we’re in touch with our story.

This timeless video clip continues to bring me smiles every time I catch myself in my humanness! 

I want to share my deep appreciation to all of you who commented on my last blog. It was wonderful to hear from you. Thank you for taking the time to say hello!

 

Sending smiles,

Cherie